How To Shutdown A Negative Person (Without Being Negative)

how to shutdown a negative person

Learning how to shutdown a negative person without being rude, nasty or confronting can be a really empowering skill to learn.

People with negative energy can really drag you down.

When you attempt to shut down a negative person by being negative yourself you do not ‘win’ but you really just stoop down to their level.

Dealing With Negative Energy From People In Your Everyday Life

One of the most common problems I hear about almost daily is that people who want to manifest their best life are often dragged down by negative people around them.

It can be very hard to stay in a high vibration when you are surrounded by negative people who are who live in a low vibration.

We are all confronted by negative energy all the time.

It is all around us.

What can be particularly challenging is if you can not remove yourself from those negative people or from a negative environment.

This can be your own family or even your workplace.

It doesn’t take much searching to find negative people in either of these places. You can not divorce yourself from negative family members – nor should you.

You can change jobs but you will soon find out that the same negative people are there too – they just look different.

Learning how to shutdown a negative person with grace and with a positive energy will not only help you but help them as well.

Personally, I will always opt to remove myself from the negative conversations and negative people as far as I can.

With coworkers and acquaintances, you can’t just shutdown these people because it can easily be perceived as rude or insensitive – which can really aggravate these sorts of people.

I now see these as opportunities to turn negative energy into a positive energy.

I don’t really see it as a way to shut them down. I see it as a way to help them change their own energy.

Ultimately, negative people like to be negative, complain and bitch because it is an attempt to feel better.

They simply do not have the skill (yet) to feel good through being positive.

7 Ways To Shutdown a Negative Person With Grace and Compassion

When you are rude, unkind or even when you lack compassion towards another person you are really being that way to yourself.

When you ‘win’ an argument you may win the battle but you lose the war.

If you consider everything from an energetic point of view then arguing, being rude or lacking compassion actually lowers your own energy.

For me, the ultimate goal in my life is to have nothing but love and compassion for everyone and everything.

This is in stark contrast to some of the goals that I had earlier in my life.

When you live in a state of love and you can go without being offended, being angry or have any ill thoughts or feelings towards other the whole universe gets behind you.

If you want to know the real secret to manifesting anything you could ever want then this is it.

It puts a completely different spin on dealing with negative people who bring their negative energy into your space.

Let me offer you some very practical ideas about dealing with negative people and how you can shutdown a negative person in a positive way.

1. Listen To Them

Negative people often just want to be heard. They desperately want people to hear their point of view.

By offering a negative person your time and your attention and really making them feel heard you can often shutdown the negativity and really help them in the process.

Listen to their complaint, their bitching or their negative opinion.

Repeat it back to them so that they know that you listened and that you understand their point of view.

Once they feel heard they often let out the steam and are more willing for the conversation to go in a different and more positive direction.

You also want to take care that you don’t become people’s punching bag where they come to with all their negativity.

2.Show Empathy

Empaths are really good at this but even if you are not an empath you can still show empathy.

It is one of the most powerful ways to shutdown a negative person in a very empowering way.

Show them that you understand what they are feeling. When you empathize with someone they feel deeply understood and empathy creates an emotional connection with people.

Once you have this connection you can easily steer them into a more positive state of mind.

Say something like “Wow! That sucks. I am quite impressed with how you handle the situation though”.

That will instantly help them focus on the positive side and from here you can start directing the energy to something positive and empowering.

3. Motive Them

When someone feels motivated they generally are in a positive frame of mind. Negative energy is very ‘slow’ and lethargic.

That is why negative people can be so draining in a family or in a work environment.

There is a way to shut down a negative person by simply turning their negativity into a form of motivation.

By saying something like ‘Wow! That sucks. I am really impressed by how you managed to handle this’.

That instantly redirects their focus back to themselves and helps them see that they have actually done something positive.

This automatically gets them thinking in a new and more positive way.

4. Ask a Question

When someone is venting or offloading they are in a specific mindset and thought pattern that is focused on what they believe is wrong.

Asking questions is a powerful technique that NLP uses to redirect and reframe situations.

When you ask someone a question, there is a natural impulse to answer that question – even if they don’t want to, their minds are ‘forced’ to think about an answer.

This is often enough to shutdown a negative person because they will snap out of that negative frame of mind.

‘Did you learn something from it?’ or ‘how did you handle this in the past?’ or even ‘so, how are your kids doing?’.

5. Find The Positive

This can sometimes be hard but if you can find something positive in the negative person and particularly in the situation that they are negative about you can instantly shut them down in the most positive way.

If you can’t find something positive, then just help them focus on something positive about the situation.

‘I really admire your work ethic and that is probably why you are upset’ or ‘you have really high standards and that is probably why this is a problem for you’.

This instantly shifts the focus and helps them snap out of the negative mindset.

6. Redirect The Conversation

With some negative people you just don’t stand a chance. They are dead-set on their negative attitude and they are just looking for someone to offload their negativity onto.

In this case you may really have to shut them down – but in a respectful way.

Say something like ‘Oh no! Well, I am sure you’d rather talk about…’ and direct the conversation to something that they like.

People love to talk about themselves, their kids, their pets or their hobbies. These are sure-fire ways to shutdown a negative person by simply directing their focus to something they love.

7. Step In To Help

This is by far my favorite strategy and it works incredibly well in work environments.

Negative people often complain because they want to vent their emotions – emotions that they can not freely share in a work environment.

By stepping in and offering help you often catch them by surprise.

By saying something like ‘That sounds terrible. How can I help?’ you will almost instantly be turned down and the severity of the complaints often subsides.

‘If there’s ever anything I can do, please let me know!’

That will get them off the topic very quickly and at this point, you can step in and direct the conversation to something more positive.

Shutting Down Negative People – Conclusion

Learning how to shutdown a negative person is not about dominating them, winning an argument or being rude and nasty.

Doing it in a positive and empowering way will leave both of you better off.

Extreme positivity and positive energy can nullify all negative energy without you having to do anything at all.

It is like turning on a light in a dark room.

The darkness simply can not exist in the presence of the light.

Use this analogy and decide that you are going to be the light – that you are going to be the positive energy and that you are going to shutdown negative persons with your ‘light’ and with your presence.

Of course, you are human. Some days you would just be better off to excuse yourself and remove yourself from the negative energy that these people bring into your life.


With a passion for spirituality, self discovery, and understanding this life, Neod spends his time musing about what is, what could be and what might come about. After writing for 20 years he's still growing, learning, exploring and sharing with love, joy and compassion.

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