How To Deal With a Negative Wife

how to deal with a negative wife

Learning how to deal with a negative wife is not about changing her in any way. Its all about changing yourself, your mindset and the way you are.

This may seem counterintuitive and you may say ‘you don;t know my wife!’ but when you really start looking inwards you will discover that any and all change that may be necessary starts with you.

I have a belief that everything in my life was not only attracted to my life but is there to help shape and guide me.

Have you ever considered the fact that your negative wife is there by design?

Maybe she is what you need to move yourself into a higher consciousness – a consciousness where no amount of negativity around you can affect you in any way.

The Challenge of Living With a Negative Wife

Being around negative people can and does affect you. If you are an empath, it can affect you greatly.

Being more sensitive to other people’s energy can make you particularly susceptible to being influenced by their energy.

This does not mean that someone who is not that aware does not get affected. The difference is mainly that they don’t notice.

Living with someone who is always negative can be very draining – especially if you are (or try to be) more positive and optimistic.

Their negative energy will constantly drag you down and it can feel suffocating.

If you know how the law of attraction works and you know that in order to manifest what you truly desire then you know the value of being in a high vibration.

Who Really Needs To Change?

Having someone who is constantly lowering your vibration with their negativity can be particularly frustrating.

I have learned after a lot of struggle with this that I simply can not afford to give someone else my power.

I decided that I will no longer give my negative wife the power to control or dictate MY energy in any way.

The instant you allow someone else’s moods and negativity to control and dictate yours then you have given away your power.

Ultimately you (and only you) are in charge of your own thoughts and emotions. It is your energy and you get to decide what vibration you live at.

At a higher level of consciousness you get to decide if you want your spouse’s energy to control yours.

When you claim (or reclaim) your own power and you keep your focus and your attention on yourself and what you can control then you truly learn to master yourself.

When you allow your ego to react and when you allow circumstances and events to dictate how you think and feel then you will always be a ‘victim’.

Learning how to deal with a negative wife is all about learning how to deal with yourself.

It’s about learning how to truly master your own focus, your own thoughts and your own emotions.

Since intimate relationships are so close to us it can be a great challenge but it can also have the greatest rewards.

The irony is that when you change yourself, everything else around you changes.

Where Does Negativity Come From?

The first and most important thing to realize is that nobody is born negative. In fact, you can take any young child and you will quickly see that ALL children are born happy, positive and optimistic.

Negativity is something we learn and it is something we practise.

When you are negative often enough it soon becomes part of your personality. Your dominant thoughts become negative in nature.

Learning how to deal with a negative wife is first and foremost about understanding where her negativity comes from.

Very often it comes from her parents – either one or both of them!

This is not about passing blame. As adults we all have the ability and the responsibility to choose our own thoughts, behaviours and attitudes.

It does however give you some insight as to the root cause of her negativity.

Certain life events can also trigger a persistent negative attitude. This can be something traumatic or something as simple as not being accepted socially.

If your wife surrounds herself with negative people – a circle of friends who are all part of the ‘ain’t it awful club’ then her negativity is a form of social acceptance.

This can be incredibly hard to deal with because it becomes part of her identity.

Very often, someone who is very negative usually has a big cocktail of events, circumstances and experiences that has led them to this current negative mindset.

Negativity breeds more negativity.

When you are in a negative vibration you can only attract more thoughts and circumstances that match with your vibration.

The good news is that any positive thought is hundreds of time more powerful than a negative thought.

Positive thoughts and emotions feel good and it is this good feeling that can help turn around even the most negative wife in the world.

7 Tips To Deal With a Negative Wife

There are many ways to deal with a negative wife. Changing her is often the last thing you should have on your mind.

Trying to force change in another can backfire and cause a lot of friction.

The question that many people ask when using the law of attraction in relationships is ‘does it take 2 to change?’

The answer is no!

You can not only affect those around you through YOUR own energy but you can affect real change in others just by changing yourself.

This may defy logic but hopefully the ideas below will bring this across more clearly and help you to deal with a negative wife in the most uplifting, empowering and harmonious way possible.

1. Decide What YOU Want to Be – And Be That

One of the biggest misconceptions that most people have in a relationship is that they expect the other person to change in order to fix certain problems.

The reality is that it only ever takes one person to change a relationship completely.

No matter what the problem is, you have a part to play.

You need to take responsibility for that fact and then move on to the most important step and that is decide what you want to be – and then BE IT!

Decide what you want to stand for, how you want to behave and what energy you want in your life.

As you live this – regardless of everything around you then your energy will start to shape and direct your environment.

In most cases, your negative wife will start changing right before your eyes simply because you are changing.

2. Stop Reacting

There is a big difference between reacting and responding. Most of the problems in any relationship stems from people reacting.

That basically means you re-act – you perform the same action again.

When you react to certain triggers the fact that you react means you re-create certain outcomes. It is like a pattern that you simply repeat.

The real secret is to learn how to respond.

That means that you are really present in the situation. You know what you ultimately want and you don’t allow certain triggers and old patterns to dictate your behavior.

If your wife’s negativity triggers you to think, feel and act in certain ways then you are part of a pattern as much as she is with her negative thinking.

3. Identify The Triggers

The behavioural patterns we run are almost always triggered by something – a word, a sentence, an action or even just a look.

Learn to identify these patterns in yourself and also in her. If certain behaviours trigger her negativity, simply avoid it if you can.

If some of her negative talk triggers things within you, identify it and pay attention when it happens.

Ultimately the program can only run if you allow it. Most people’s programs run on autopilot because they are not aware.

Awareness can be very powerful because once you are aware of what the triggers are you can catch it before it gets to you.

One strategy from NLP to deal with a negative wife is to use so-called pattern interrupts.

When you notice a certain pattern starting to run, interrupt it by doing something funny or saying something unexpected.

4. Humor

Humor is one of the most powerful tools you have to dismantle a negative or angry wife. This does not mean you have to become a comedian.

With humor you can dismantle even the most intense situations.

A simple joke, a smile or a lighthearted comment can break any tense mood in an instance.

Learning how to deal with a negative wife through humor may mean you start joking at her negativity – but always in a fun and lighthearted way.

Never try to humiliate her or be condescending in any way.

The humorous approach will often make her see the folly of her own thoughts.

5. Break Your Stale Routines

In relationships we tend to fall into very deep and ingrained routines.

These are not just day to day routines but also routine ways of talking to, responding to and thinking about each other.

While these habits can serve us in many ways it can also be very destructive.

It becomes a destructive weapon that operates largely on auto-pilot.

You need to make a very deliberate effort to change things up.

Sometimes the simplest changes and variations in your stale routines can force you to see things in a different light.

This change can trigger different thoughts and lead to a very different mood.

They say that a change is as good as a holiday and this is most certainly true in relationships and dealing with a negative partner..

6. Have a Heart To Heart

Having a good old heart to heart talk can be extremely effective in any relationship. We are often harboring anger, resentment and even hate towards those we love simply because we keep things bottled up.

One of the best ways to deal with a negative wife is to sit down with her in a calm, relaxed environment and talk to her about her negativity in a loving, kind and compassionate way.

When you come at it from a place of love then it can really get through some tough barriers.

Avoid using the ‘but word’ too much. Don’t say things like ‘I love you, but you are too negative’.

Tell her how her negativity affects you and your whole family and don’t try to convince her of anything she won’t believe anyway.

If you must, get help.

There are many great relationship coaches and counsellors and sometimes the presence of an impartial person can really facilitate a good open and honest conversation.

7. Letting Go Of Your Ego

As hard as it may be to admit it to yourself, your ego very often gets the better of you. It is your ego that wants to be right, that wants to be important and that wants to dominate others.

Your Highest Self only wants one thing and that is inner peace.

The more you learn to detach from your ego the more you will allow yourself to be at peace. This is where true happiness lies.

The best way to deal with a negative wife is not to deal with her at all.

It is about dealing with yourself. When you trul;y start living from your Highest Self and relinquish the needs of your ego then all the minutiae of life no longer has a hold on you.

Other people’s moods, comments and arguments no longer affect you.

Your attention turns inwards and your main goal is to be at peace. With this goal you are out to satisfy your Highest Self – not your ego.

This can be hard at times but once you get on this spiritual path you become the light in a dark room.

It all starts with an awareness of how your ego has been demanding that you deal with, change or even fix your negative wife.

Your Highest Self only wants you to let her be and for you to be at peace.

The irony is that as you change yourself and start living from your Highest Self you become an inspiration and your energy commands those around you to conform to it.


With a passion for spirituality, self discovery, and understanding this life, Neod spends his time musing about what is, what could be and what might come about. After writing for 20 years he's still growing, learning, exploring and sharing with love, joy and compassion.

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