Why Do I Attract The Opposite Of What I Want

Why Do I Attract The Opposite Of What I Want

I tried really hard and did everything I could. Why do I attract the opposite of what I want? When your manifestation does not match up with your intentions then there is simply a misalignment with what you are really asking for.

Asking the universe for what you want does not rely on words. In fact, what you say you want and what you really want are often two different things.

On top of that, what you really want and what you have the majority of your attention on are very often two different things.

There is not a person alive that does not want something they do not have.

We all have a long list of things that we desire since our experience of life creates the contrast that causes us to want certain things.

If you are deliberately manifesting something – even if its the opposite of what you really want then you should get very excited.


Because you have proven to yourself that you can manifest thoughts and ideas. You just need to learn how to manage yourself better and to really become more conscious of what it is that you are REALLY thinking and feeling MOST OF THE TIME.

5 Reasons Why You Attract The Opposite of What You Want

I’ve been studying spirituality, higher consciousness and the law of attraction for about 20 years now. I would say the first 10 years were spent struggling and trying to manifest a laundry list of things.

The frustration of trying ‘really hard’ to manifest what you desire can be incredibly painful.

At a deeper level I always had a knowing that I absolutely can manifest what I place my energy and my attention on.

Like so many people though, I was attracting the opposite of what I wanted.

Doing affirmations, visualizations and a dozen other techniques for a couple of years with results that reflect the opposite of what I really wanted was a really bitter pill to swallow.

It also ‘forced’ me into finding REAL answers and really understanding how the law of attraction and manifestation really works.

If I had to sum up very briefly what it comes down to then I would say that the bigger the effort, the more you try and the harder you wish for it the more resistance you create and the more you will attract the opposite of what you really want.

If you find yourself feeling frustrated and wondering ‘why do I attract the opposite of what I want’ then these 5 reasons will give you some ah-ha moments…

1.Trying Too Hard

Trying to make it happen through your own will, actions and force is an affirmation that you DO NOT trust or believe that the universe can (and will) deliver what you desire.

Nobody has ever told me that their intentions did not manifest because they did not try hard enough. Without fail, people will say things like: “I tried SO hard to manifest X,Y and Z and it just did not work”.

This idea of trying hard is in fact the very problem.

Why do I attract the opposite of what I want when I try so hard and do everything I possibly can?

Setting goals, working hard and trying your best is NOT how manifestation work. The more action you have to manufacture to bring something into your life the more resistance you create.

You do not manifest into your life something equal to your physical effort.

Stop trying so hard. Stop working yourself to the bone. Stop looking for the best manifestation techniques.

Look within. Work ‘hard’ on the way you feel.

It is ultimately only your vibration that matters.

2.Your Desire Creates The Opposite Emotion

Am I guilty of this. It creates a pit in my stomach when I think about how many years of my life I made this manifestation mistake.

Your attempts and your ‘actions’ that you use to try and manifest what you desire reminds you of what you don’t have or what’s missing from your life.

When you use affirmations, visualization or any other technique it often has the opposite effect.

When you affirm “I am wealthy” does it make you feel wealthy or does it remind you of the fact that you are not wealthy?

Does it stir up images of your lack and limitation?

Does it remind you that you do not have what you desire and that you’ve been trying for years without any success?

There is a very delicate balance between desiring something and being expectant, hopeful and excited because it IS coming or feeling frustrated, desperate and fearful because you are not sure if or how it is coming into your life.

Can you notice the difference between these two states?

When you start to really pay attention to how you truly feel about what you desire then you will start to fine tune your vibration.

3.Habits And Beliefs

When nothing changes then nothing can change. Changing habitual patterns of thought can be incredibly hard.

You keep running the same mental patterns and your life becomes a process of RE-action. We tend to live the same week every week and we fall into habits and patterns where anything outside of that starts to feel uncomfortable.

We are creatures of comfort.

We gravitate towards thoughts and feelings that are familiar because that feeling of familiarity is what your brain perceives as ‘safe’.

This can be so powerful that even the most destructive habits and thoughts still feel safe and we end up repeating patterns that do not serve us.

Why do I attract the opposite of what I want? Because consciously you want something different but subconsciously your thoughts, beliefs and habits are running the same patterns that it has before you had the intention to manifest something new.

You need to become acutely aware of patterns of thought that you keep repeating and you need to start paying attention to your Self.

This requires a conscious effort. It requires a shift in your perception and a willingness to really look in the mirror.

It can be hard to admit certain things to yourself but when you do and you really start to expose your own beliefs, habits and patterns then you can free yourself.

Just becoming aware of your beliefs and your habitual thoughts can be enough to break free from them.

Because now you can ‘catch yourself’ when you do think in ways that do not serve what you ultimately want to manifest.

4.There Is A Gestation Period

What you are attracting into your life today is NOT the result of your thoughts and your consciousness of today.

Everything that is manifesting into your life experience today is the result of past thoughts and actions.

The danger is to not live only for a period in time when you eventually have what you desire. The journey is even more important than the destination.

Until and unless you learn to love every part of the journey you will most likely not be in a state to attract and manifest what you eventually want.

No matter how bad things are, there is always something to love.

The ability to direct and control your own focus and hence your own energy is the real secret.

When you are blinded by problems, circumstances and everything that is right in front of you then you will remain bound by them because your energy and attention is on that what IS.

The ability to manifest your desires revolves around your ability to see beyond what is.

5.Making Room For What’s New

I’ve written about this before as one of the signs that your manifestation is starting to materialize.

On the surface it may appear that you attract the opposite of what you want but in reality the universe is clearing the way to make room for what you really want.

So often we hold on to our past to the point where our hands are so full that we can’t accept something new.

A classic example is with those who want to attract and manifest love or a soulmate. Their lives are so filled-up with people and activities for ‘single people’ that they have no room for another person in their lives.

Until and unless you make space in your life for what you really desire then it simply cannot flow into your life.

Why do I attract the opposite of what I want when my intention is clear and I’ve let go of the resistance?


You are attracting what is needed to make room for what you really desire. This ,ay appear to be the opposite of what you really want but try and look past the appearances and stay focussed on your ultimate desire.


With a passion for spirituality, self discovery, and understanding this life, Neod spends his time musing about what is, what could be and what might come about. After writing for 20 years he's still growing, learning, exploring and sharing with love, joy and compassion.

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