Using the law of attraction in current relationships is all about refocusing your energy and attention on the person you love, on what you truly want and eliminating all those nagging and persistent thoughts that are currently manifesting.
We are in a constant process of creating our lives. Our thoughts are constantly manifesting.
Because we are so close to it we rarely notice but in hindsight we can see how certain periods of our life were the direct result of our own thoughts.
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
Changing anything starts and ends with changing your own thoughts.
The challenge of deep-seeded emotional and habitual behavior patterns in existing relationships can proof to be challenging to overcome but the payoff is huge.
Do Not Work On A Relationship
Popular psychology and numerous self help books promote this idea that we have to always work on our relationships to keep it alive and to keep it flourishing.
This very idea is not only disempowering but I find it really discouraging and even depressing.
I have so many things to work on. Having to then also work on my relationship just becomes overwhelming.
When you first fall in love, everything is easy and effortless. You don’t need to try and make things work.
Everything is easy and seemingly natural.
I believe that this is what a relationship should be like at all times. Life does get in the way though and most of the time we blame our partner for what they do or did not do.
We make someone else responsible for our own feelings.
Using the law of attraction in current relationships can be very powerful. It makes you realize that the only person you need to ‘fix’ in your relationship is YOU.
When you ‘work’ on yourself – your own perceptions, your own thoughts and your own emotions then you quite literally CREATE the relationship.
This truly is what empowerment is all about.
Using The Law of Attraction in Current Relationships
What you give your energy and attention to will expand. It can be no other way.
When problems start in a relationship we can easily get caught up in the emotions of the situation.
If you keep in mind that your dominant thoughts and emotions are expanding and that are what manifests then its easy to see how relationship problems not only persists but can quickly grow and expand.
The very nature of trying to fix or deal with relationship problems is the reason why they persist and even grow.
What you place your energy and your attention on will grow in the relationship.
The law of attraction is universal and impartial. It does not judge the way you do. Good and bad, right and wrong – all these things are human constructs.
The law of attraction receives your instructions through your intentions and your attention.
It will deliver to you exactly what you ‘ask’ for.
If your relationship is dominated by arguments, a lack of joy, passion, respect and love then that is most likely where your energy and your attention is on.
By law, that is all that can possibly expand and grow.
1. Focus Only In The Person You Love
As I’ve already mentioned, we tend to get blinded by what IS. The current and the persistent reality can blind us to what we really want.
When you keep ‘seeing’ only what is in front of you and you give the current reality all your energy and attention then that is all that can manifest in your future.
The real ‘trick’ and arguably the hardest thing to do in life is to look beyond your current circumstances.
When you look beyond ‘what is’ you can start to move beyond everything you do not like in a relationship.
When you think of your partner, are your thoughts dominated by the wonderful person you first fell in love with?
Are your thoughts dominated by what he/she did wrong, how he/she always does X,Y or Z or how he/she left the toilet seat up 3 days ago and you are still upset about it?
The emotion of a relationship can really catch us out.
You need to become conscious of ‘whom’ you are focusing your attention on.
Are you focusing your attention on the person you love or the person who does X, Y and Z wrong?
Although its the same person, your perception is what will manifest and what will grow in your life.
Its not always easy and requires some practice. Once you learn to let all the old stuff just roll off your back and you become steadfast in focusing only on that person you love unconditionally then everything will change.
2. What Do You Really Want?
Fix in your mind EXACTLY what you want the relationship to be like.
Build the image. Be precise. Be specific.
Holding on to this image despite everything that may happen on go on at this moment.
Your current relationship is the result of your past thoughts and actions.
What you choose to focus on right now is what will expand and create your future experiences. It is therefore easy to see how arguments can get us caught up in ‘what is’ which ends up manifesting in our immediate future as more of the same.
If you are in a relationship you do not like – regardless of the specifics you most likely have a goal or an intention that is too vague.
I want more love, more joy or more passion are really weak intentions that can not manifest into what you really want.
You need to really hone in and decide exactly what you want in every aspect of your relationship.
See it clearly in your mind. Write it out and really hone in on what you want your current relationship to look like and feel like.
You can design your relationship to be better than its ever been before. No matter how bad or how hopeless it may seem, with the law of attraction you can manifest ANYTHING.
3. Reacting vs Responding
If what’s needed to transform an existing relationship is to change your dominant thoughts about the relationship and your partner then the first and most important step is to stop thinking and behaving the way you always do.
If what you think about most of the time is manifesting then it becomes crystal clear that you need to change what you think about most of the time.
In relationships however, we can quickly fall into behavioral patterns.
We tend to react in similar ways all the time.
The same things trigger specific thoughts, actions and behavioral patterns. We react and it is the reactions that cause us to remain ‘stuck’ in perpetual negative patterns.
Using the law of attraction in current relationships is all about learning to respond instead of react.
When you respond you act in a way that is in alignment with your intention.
When you react, you simply respond the way you always have – most of the time unconsciously.
Can you respond with love when confronted with anger, resentment or indifference?
It can be tough and requires presence of mind, a strong intention to change and a deliberate consciousness of your own thoughts and emotions.
4. Don’t Try And Make Things Happen
When you try and apply the law of attraction in a current relationship, it is easy to fall into the trap of trying to make things happen.
As human beings we learn from an early age to be problem solvers.
When something is not the way we want it we tend to look towards action steps we can take to fix it.
Using the law of attraction is not about that at all.
In many ways, the most challenging part of truly tapping into the power of the law of attraction is to resist this very temptation.
You do not have to do anything.
You do not have to come up with a plan.
You do not have to take matters into your own hands.
Most of the times when we do this we either base our actions on other people’s results or we try and recreate what we did or achieved in the past.
This is NOT how the creative process works.
The law of attraction will deliver to you what you intend but only if you step aside.
Every situation has a unique path to unfold. You certainly can push and demand and make things happen but this is rarely a long term solution.
If you set your intention clearly and you trust that Infinite Intelligence will (and must) deliver your desire in the fastest, most joyful and most fulfilling way then real magic starts to happen.
Instead of making plans and trying to solve problems you will become inspired. You will feel compelled to do things you never thought you could or would.
It will feel easy. It will feel joyful and you will feel inspired.
5. Love Is The Fix-All Energy
We tend to think of love in a romantic sense – especially when it comes to relationships.
If you start to think of love more as an energy than an emotion then you can start to understand how important love is when you try to manifest something.
Love is one of the highest vibration energies there is.
When your heart and mind is dominated by feelings of love, then there is very few things that can throw you off course.
You can not be in a vibration of love and feel any anger, resentment or fear.
When you are in a vibration of love you will also not attract anything other than that into your life.
When you make love a priority in your life and demand of yourself to live in a state of love as much as you can, you will not only start attracting more of the same, you will also repel everything that is not in alignment with your state of love.
You Can Not Create Something In Another’s Reality
Many people are challenged by the idea that they can change a relationship by themselves.
Surely there are 2 people involved and can you really ‘create’ in another person’s reality?
If you think of a relationship as something that is created by 2 people and that both have a contribution to make towards creating it then it serves as a much better analogy.
You can ‘control’ the relationship in the sense that you are a contributor to what you are creating together. If one person contributes a little and the other a lot then it makes no real difference since the relationship is shared equally.
The way to approach this is to assume your own power to change YOUR conditions. I look at it like this…
I am moving forward.
I am up here and I am moving upwards. I reach my hand out to you and I would love for you to come with me.
However, if I reach my hand out and you want to drag me back down to your level then I will not come.
I am empowered. I know what I want. I know what my soul yearns for and that the desire for love and connection is beyond just the emotional daily needs we all have.
In many relationships it can be scary for your partner once you start empowering yourself.
Do not have a ‘superiority’ attitude when you do this.
Be the light.
Lead with love, kindness and joy.
As you do this it almost always wins over the hardened, resentful and angry heart.
Its true that you can not create in another person’s reality. You can not manifest ‘for them’ but in a relationship you have control over much more than you think.
Your job as a manifestor in a relationship is not to manifest ‘for’ your partner but rather to manifest with them.
You create the relationship YOU want to have. If they come with you, great. If they choose to stay behind, give them time.
If you light the way and let your love, joy and inner peace light the way then you do your part and that is all you can or need to do.